Uncle Bob would like anyone who will sit down long enough to listen to believe that he is plagued by the most unbelievable misfortune known to man. Think of any possible problem the universe can inflict upon humankind and you can rest assured that Uncle Bob has been through it and survived to tell the tale. And he will tell the tale. Again. And again and again until you find yourself unconsciously clutching a butter knife with murder in mind.
"Hey Uncle Bob! How are you today?"
"Well, you know I'm not one to complain, but... (insert forty minutes of monotonous whinging and complaining here)... blah blah blah. What do you think I should do?"
That's the worst part... he asks for advice. He always asks for advice.
He never takes the advice though. He pretends to think about it for a while, and then, in a doom-ladden voice, proceeds to explain why the advice given won't work. By the end of the conversation, what started out as a minor hiccup has become a catastrophe of cosmic proportions.
And yet, every time he asks for advice, I find myself, in spite of previous experience, giving it to him. Like this...
... Advising Someone (Not) To Do Something...
Of course, in the case of Uncle Bob, it would be safer to avoid using any language at all, and run for the hills the minute his lips part. You'd be crazy not to! |
